A comic con and the insane bootlicking
by Carrot3
Summary: Jhonen Gets his boots licked and Shellie ate sugar...hee..
1. Default Chapter

FUN WITH JHONEN!!!!! Fic by: MiChan2002  
  
  
  
  
  
"WHEEE!!! DEEEELTA! WE IS HEAH!"  
Shellie screamed as she ran through the San Jose airport, flailing her arms around like a rabid chimp. She was quite excited to be in California, and also to go to Comic Con 2003 to see Jhonen Vasquez.She was very hostile, right now, because she has consumed over 40 packets of sugar on the plane.  
  
"Yes, shellie. we is here. NOW LET'S GO LICK JHONEN!!"  
  
Delta said, triumphantly, as she held her hand in the air, waving it about like a katana.   
"YAY! LICKYLICKYLICKY!!!!!!"  
"Uhm..you guys, people are staring..."  
The blue-haired girl known as Kristen noted.  
'you're being all crazy like some kinds of crazy things that are all....crazy.."  
"I know, Kristen! It's FUUUN!!!"  
  
Shellie screamed as she ate another packet of sugar. Suddenly, she stopped, with half of the sugar in her mouth.   
  
"...My bagel senses are tingling..."  
"STAN? COULD IT BE?"  
  
Delta exclaimed. Kristen slapped her forehead and sighed, knowing what was going to happen next.  
  
"ONWARD, WHEEEE!"  
  
Shellie was now running around the airport, delta behind her, frantically searching for somewhere to get a bagel. Kristen trotted behind the two horribly insane girls, garrying the baggage. Woe is her.  
  
~~~~**At the HOTEL!**~~~~  
  
"WOOO! This bed is sooo bouncy!"  
"Yep! and HEY! They even gave us a bible. Why do they do that, shellie?"  
"I DON'T HAVE NO IDEA! I IS BOUUNCIN!"  
  
Delta and Kristen stared as Shellie repetedly hit her head on the ceiling, giggling each time she did it.  
  
"Shellie, there are people above us. you're probably annoying them."  
"GOOD! IT BE MAH JOB!"  
"Uuhhhhh-huhhh.."  
"So, kristen, shellie, when are we gonna go to the 'con?"  
"I DOON'T KNOWWW!"  
"Well, we could go now, but..yeah..we could go now.."  
"YEEAHHHH! LETS GOO NOWWWWWW!!!!! ARRGH!"  
  
Shellie stopped bouncing and grabbed the key to the room. She swung it around as she screamed at delta and kristen about "Going Now". Soon, the girls were out the door, and walking to the convention hall. it was only a few blocks away, and they made it there fairly quickly, because they were trying to keep Shellie from gettin runned over. Shellie didn't know how to use crosswalks.As they entered the huge grey building, there ears were filled with the clammer of other retarted fan people, and the stench of food. Shellie quickly got lost in the crowd, wasting no time to begin the insanity.  
  
  
"OOH! I WANT ONE OF THOSE...AND ONE OF THESE..AND..OOH! THIS THING! HEE HEE! IT BLINKS!! OWWW MY EYE!! ARRGH!"  
  
Shellie screamed as she ran through the displays, picking stuff up and carrying it around with her, forgetting that she had to pay for it. Delta followed, hanging on to shellie's leash, and kristen was busy reading sighs, trying to figure out where to find jhonen.   
  
"HEY, GUYS! I THINK I FIGURED IT OUT!!"  
She yelled happily.  
"All we have to do is go straight um...that way..and..uhh..yeah."  
"WELL, LETS GO! I MUST LICK JHONEN!"  
Shellie screamed, confused and unaware that everyone had just heard her.  
So the three hyperactive girls ran down one of the hallways, hopefully to the table that Jhonen sat at.  
  
~~~~**AT JHONEN'S TABLE OF TRANSGRESSENT DOOM**~~~~  
  
"Yay! lookie, delta, we is heah! again!"  
"Oh my god, shellie, she's even yummier in LIVE form than he is in pictures. MUST....LICK...BOOTS...AGHH.."  
  
Delta had become a zombie as she walked toward his table, smashing anyone that got in her way. She was going to lick those damn boots if it was the last thing she did.  
  
"JHONEN! HI!"  
  
She exclaimed, cheerfully.  
"Uhmm..hi..?"  
"Hi."  
"....hiii..uhh.."  
"HEHEHEHEHEhehehehe...hiii.."  
"Yes..hi. I thik we have established the greeting, no?"  
"Yes."  
"...do you talk in one syllable words, only?"  
"no."  
"Okkay, thennoOOAH! GOOD GOD! WHAT THE HELL?"  
  
Jhonen yelled in surprise as he looked uder the table. There was Shellie, latched onto his waist, looking at him like a small lost child...Which she was..  
  
"Hello, there, girl latched onto me.."  
"Heheheh Hi Jhonen! know what? I don't know! That's why I'm confused! I ate alot of sugar before I came here!Now you will do things for me! you will sing broadway songs and tapdance! CARAMEL APPLE POP!"  
"...What?"  
  
"Heyy! Jhonen-guy! Hola!"  
  
It was kristen, the blue haied girl!  
"Jhonen, soy Kristen! Niza para satisfacerle. Hey, puedo exprimir la mierda viva fuera de usted? usted es tan atractivo."  
"QUE??No, no pienso tan."  
"Ah! so, it is true! you do speak spanish."  
"Yep..uhm, hey, do these belong to you?"  
Jhonen motioned to the two girls, shellie, who was latched onto him, and delta, who was presently licking his boots as she promised herself. 


	2. Chapter TWO! TRUE MADNESS ENSUES!

Jhonen was now extremely confused, and the two crazy girls and the one blue-haired spanish speaking girl was trying desperately to un-confuse him.   
  
"Uhm..if they do belong to you, can you please...get them off?"  
  
Jhonen whimpered.  
  
"AAW! SOOOOO CUUTE!" Shellie exclaimed. "Jhooonnneeennn! you whimpered! SOOO CUUUTE!"  
  
She tightened her grip around his waist and began to meow like a cat-thing. At this point, all other people had left Jhonen's little table thing because they were scared of the psychopathic fan-girls. Jhonen petted Shellie's head and looked down at Delta who was still rabidly licking his boots.  
  
"Uhmmm..wh....why are you licking my boots, again, child?"  
"Because you are yummy. And your boots are too. MmMmMm...Boots..ehehehe..."  
"OooKKKaayy.."  
  
Kristen sat down beside Jhonen and stared at him.  
  
"Those two things that are attatched to you? I don't know them."  
"Ah. I see."  
"Jhonen!!" Shellie screeched  
"Do I even wanna hear this?"  
"CAN WE TAKE YOU BACK TO OUR HOTEL ROOM AND PLAY WITH YOU THERE?"  
"Guhh..do I have much of a choice?"  
  
Shellie thought for a moment.  
  
"Mmmm..no, not really."  
"Oh alright then. No point in struggling.heh..eheh heh.."  
  
  
And with that, the Girld dragged Jhonen back to their evil Hotel Room of DOOM with a bible.   
  
~~~~**AT THE HOTEL**~~~~  
  
"YAAY! WE HAVE A JHONEN! WE HAVE A JHONEN!" Shellie sang, in a most annoying voice.  
  
Jhonen sat on the bed, on the other end of the room as shellie danced around him, falling over, occassionally, because of the bouncy-ness of the bed. Delta was busy trying to pry off Jhonen's boots so she sould keep them for herself, and Kristen was flipping through a phone book, frantically trying to find an animal control center where she could take Shellie. 'Sugar is a BAD idea.' She thought. 'NO SUGAR...NONONONONONONONO...'  
  
"So..Jhonen. Now that you're with us..here...in our evil hotel room of DOOM, What do you wanna do?" Asked Delta.  
"Hmm...I want..room service. I never got to use room service before." He smiled.  
"KAY! Room service it is. What do we want room service to do?" Shelie squealed.  
"Well, here, in the back of the Booklet-thingy, it says if they don't have it, they'll get it for you. Then at the bottom of the page there's this little star thing and some really little words that I can't read." Jhonen answered.  
  
"OO!OO! I KNOW! Let's get a giant slice of Bologna!!!!!"  
"Shellie?"  
"Yessss, Kristennnn?"  
"Where in THE BLOODY HELL Would they get a giant slice of Bologna??"  
"I dunno, but it says if they don't have it, they'll get it for you."  
"AMAZING!" Delta screamed.  
  
By now, Jhonen's ears REALLY hurt. Damn, those two girls could scream!  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
**BLAH. That is the END of chapter two. egh..I have to get me some coffee..Coke-a-cola isn't working, anymore. I'm not desperate enought to caffinate myself with JOLT, just yet...*Yawn* Review! It's greatly appreciated. I don't like flames, though. Noooo flames. email me flames, if you must.*sigh* idiots. XP 


	3. Steve Irwin Spoofs and a Bit O' Brak

"Hey, howcome you guys scream so much?"  
Jhonen asked, not sure he wanted to know the answer.  
  
"Because it's fuuuuunnnn..." Shellie replied, with an odd look of impending crazy-ness on her face.  
"Yep! And it makes people stare at us. I like to get attention. Wheeheehee!" Delta was spinning in circles with jhonen's boot in her hand.  
  
"Uh, hey, can I have my boot back?"  
"Nope, sorry! You hafya take your shoes of in our house. it's just courtesy."  
"Oookkkayy..."Jhonen said as he removed his other boot, revealing that one of his socks was blue, and the other one was striped green and black.For no reason at all, Shellie then pulled the boot from his hands and threw it against the wall, screaming insanely. This was not a happy insane scream, either.  
  
"FUCKING BOOT!! YOU DON'T KNOW MY MAMMA! HOW DARE YOU EVEN SPEAK OF AUNTIE FRANK LIKE THAT! YOU WILL PAY, FOR BILL THE HYDRA HAS STOLEN YOUR ASS-MEATS! ARRGH!"  
  
"Um, is she gonna be okay?" Jhonen said, sheepishly. He was sincerely frightened by now. He hoped they wouldn't hurt him...  
"She'll be fine. This is RAGE, Her last stage of hyperactivity. It's when she makes up HNB quotes and throws things. She'll be just fine in about an hour."  
  
Kristen said. Jhonen was curled up into a fetal position, trying to keep as far away as possible, while all he had to comfort him was his multi colored socks. And socks were not really comforting.  
  
~~~~**HOURS LATER**~~~~  
"WOOOOO! I IS FLYIN LIKE A CHIMP! BARBARA, TENDERIZE THE HAM HOCK!"  
"You said she'd be done in an hour and a half! It's been 7 hours, Kristen. I really hafta get back to my hotel.."  
"Well, I'm not stopping you."  
"No, but THAT is!" Jhonen said, pointing to the still screaming Shellie. He was beginning to wonder if her vocal chords ever took a rest.   
  
Jhonen then got up, and walked over to the screaming girl and grabbed her by the arms.Her body had stopped moving, but she had so much sugar left in her, he head kept moving from side to side as she sang the *water song.  
  
"OOOOOHHH,, WHathappened to the water, the water, the water...what happed to the water, the water so wet..." She sang.  
"Hey. Shellie, look at me."Jhonen said to her as he tried to look her straight in the eye.  
"It mixed up with the dirt, the dirt, the dirt, it mixed up with the dirt, and turned into mud!"  
"Hey! Stop flailing your head, look at me!"  
"The mud got on my shoe, my shoe, my shoe, the mud got on my shoe, and then I came inside.."  
"Jhonen, Just give up." Delta chimed. "She's hopeless."  
"God is she always this hyper?"  
"Mmmm.....pretty much, yes."  
"THEEE MUD got on the carpet, the carpet, the carpet, the mud got on the carpet, and my mom got mad. She sent me for some water, to clean the carpet, I turned on the faucet, but nothing came out, OOHHHH WHAAATTT happened to the water, the water, the water, what happened to the water, the water we need to CLEEEAAANNN THE CARRPPETTTT AND WAAAASH THE DOOOG!! AND WAAAAAAAAAAAASSH THE DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDGGGGGGGGG!!!!! Wash the dog."  
  
There was an awkward moment of silense as Shellie..DUN DUN DUNNN..Mellowed down!  
  
"Jhonen?" She asked  
"Yes?"  
"Can we put you in a cage and film you?"  
"Sigh..do I even have a choice?"  
"Hehehehehe. (no)"  
"I see. well, I guess I should just start struggling now, huh."  
"Yep, probably."  
"Kay.."  
  
Automatically, delta and shellie grabbed Jhonen by the arms and put him into an oversized cage. He thrashed about, but the power of crazy fangirls was just to much for him. It was the supreme power , at the moment, anyway. With that, Jhonen was now in the cage, staring out at the Psycho fangirls and hoping whatever they were going to do to him wasn't going to hurt, very much. Pain was one thing that did not exactly mix well with him. it just did not like him very much. Jhonen didn't like it either. Kristen came up to the cage, with a small video-camcorder, and filmed Jhonen looking dazed and confused. Shellie began to speak in a strong Australlian accent, and Delta began smiling like Vanna White. (If you don't know who Vanna White is, watch Wheel O' Fortune. Mook. XP)  
  
"Now, we see here," Shellie began, sounding alot like Steve Irwin, "The elusive JHONEN VASQUEZ. Also known as Honen Vasqueegee, to some other less educated people."  
  
Delta conitnued to smile, and Jhonen was actually quite impressed with Shellie's ability to speak with such a fluent australlian accent, although the information she had just provided ther "Viewers" with was absolutely wrong.  
  
"This specimen, has a few other names attached to him, though. one more commonly known is "Mr.Scolex." That is actually his evil twin, but we won't get into that."  
  
Jhonen Yawned.  
  
"CRIKEY! Delta, I think it's getting a bit hostile. DANGER DANGER DANGER.."  
"Oh..oh..ohmigod..it's...yawning..." Delta said.  
  
"Well, of course, I'm yawning. it's kinda what happens when you get a Lack of oxygen....."  
"CRIKEY! BUIGGER!WHAT A BEAUTY! DANGER DANGER DANGER!!!!!!"  
  
Kristen giggled in the background as she zoomed in in Jhonen's poor, tired, confused face.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Authors Notes: This really happened to me! In a dream! It was fun! Being Steve Irwin is really what It's cracked up to be. Oh, and the water song is another crazy schmazy song done by Brak. He is dumber than a doorknob, but you see, what fun would like be with out stupidity? W00T! I just rhymed. that was fuuuuun. REVIEW ME! I LIIIIIKKKEEEE THE REVIEWS! 


	4. OH, THE AMNESIA! Tainted Love prevails

Hours Passed, as the crazy crazy girls played with Jhonen, putting a paper cup on his head, making him sing the little tea pot song and teach them all how to draw the tallests. Jhonen Became very disoriented at one point, and passed out.  
  
"Shellie, I think..we killed him...."  
"CRIKEY! IT'S PURPLE! WOOO!"  
"No, shellie, seriously. I think he's Dead..or something."  
"Really?" Shellie asked as she went into the large cage and sat down next to Jhonen.  
"Yep. See if he still has a pulse."  
"Mmkay." Shelle Rolled Jhonen over on his back, and she put her head to his chest, listening for a heartbeat.What she heard was most frightening.  
"Uhh, Delta? Kristen? I htink you should hear this...."She said as she motioned for the other two girls to come over. She pointed To Jhonen with a confused and worried look on her face.  
"It it normal for a heartbeat to sound like "Tainted Love?"  
"Prrobably not...."  
"Hmmm..Listen, this is actually pretty good..." Kristen said as she began humming to the defunct 80's song.  
"I've got to..BUM BUM! Get awaaayy..I'm got to BUM BUM! Run awaaayyy..I've got to..BUM BUM Get awaaaay from the pain you...DRIVE into mee-hee.."  
"hee hee! KARAOKE! WHO'S UP FOR IT?" Delta squealed.Just then, Jhonen stirred.  
  
"Uhnng...wha...where am I?" He asked, confused.  
"What? You're in our hotel room, silly!" Shellie replied.  
"Huh? Who..who are you? Why am I ..in cage?"  
  
Shellie, Kristen, And Delta all just stared at eachother, realizing the most greatest, most wonderfullest thing ever. (I loves me grammah.X3)Jhonen Had amnesia.  
  
"Uhh..okaayyyy, Fist," Shellie began, "Tell me your name."  
"Uhmmm..Taquito?"  
  
Shellie giggled menacingly.  
"Guess again."  
"...s..spork."  
  
This time, she fell over from the force of her own laughter.  
  
"NOOOO! TRY AGAIN! HEE HEE HEE!"  
  
"I don't know my name,. ok!!?? I don't know who you are..I don't know where I am, I'm so confuuusedd!!"  
"It's ok..Don't worry. You're name is Jhonen Vasquez, and.."  
"NO! DO NOT REMIND HIM!" Shellie screamed at Delta.  
"Why?"  
"Heeheheheh...I have plaaans..."  
"Oh, dear god..Kristen we must tell him his life story! QUICK!"  
"I DON'T KNOW HIS LIFE STORY!"  
"I DON'T EITHER!"  
"HELP! I'M CONFUSED!"  
"MY PLAAANNNNNN!!! EEEEEEHEHEHEHE!"  
  
This went on for about 10 minuites, until they finally realised that screaming and yelling at eachother was only going to confuse the poor amnesiac more and it gave Kristen a massive head ache.  
  
"Shellie, we HAVE to restore his memory somehow. THINK!"  
"Uuhhhhh, okay..I GOT IT!"  
"Oh jeez..."  
  
Shellie stood up in front of Jhonen, And held up a piece of paper and a pencil.  
"Draaawwwwww...." She said.  
"What?" He asked.  
"GIRRRRRRR....." She replied.  
"What is this..GIR you speak of?"  
"HEEEHEEE! GIR!" Shellie said as she flailed the paper in his face.  
"AUCH! I DO NOT KNOW WHAT GIR IS! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!"  
"Shellie! Stop! You're not helping!"  
"GASP! Yes! I now know the solution..." Delta said.  
"YES...I DOES TOO.." Shellie whispered.  
  
  
  
  
"ice.....sucky......heheheheheheeeee..."  
  
  
  
"Kristen! Give me your wallet! I MUST PURCHASE ICE SUCKY!!"  
"Umm..okay." Kristen handed Delta her wallet and Delta ran out of the room giggling like a derranged school girl. Which she was.  
Delta ran across the street, causing a 95-car pile up, as Kristen watched from the hotel room window.  
  
"Oh, por que yo dela ir solamente?" She sighed.  
  
  
~~~~**AT THE 24/7**~~~~  
  
"CLERK PERSON! I NEED ICE SUCKY!"  
"Uhmmm..okay...The machine is in the back.."  
"YES! I GO, NOW!"  
  
Delta flew to the back of the store, Taking a huge cup and filling it with Cherry Ice sucky. She grinned as the machine made the 'FFFFTTTT' Sound. She then flew back out the store, leaving Kristen's wallet on the counter. The clerk person Just stared at it, unsure of what to do.  
  
  
EEENNND CHAPTER 4!!!! WHOOOO! JHONEN THE AMNESIAC! I feel so bad, right now.. *sniff* I really like Tainted Love..it is such fun song. Heehehehe..83 


End file.
